Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
