Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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