Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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