Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I'm sobbing to NWA
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
