Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
