But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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