There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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