Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
