and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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