So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
