they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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