Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
