Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
