Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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