I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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