you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
The power of my boobs compel you
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
