i will never coherently bang her
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
