i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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