what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
