When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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