I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
