Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
