so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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