My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
