Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
