Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
