I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
