you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Randomize
