Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
