my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize