did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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