i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
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