normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Randomize
