The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
