Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
