I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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