is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Randomize
