maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
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