Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
