So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
