Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize