Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
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