now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
