Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize