She said her name was "party"
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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