nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
