I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
