Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
