there was a trapeze. enough said
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
