Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
