I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize