I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
