I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
what day is it and did you see me today?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
