I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
