i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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