I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
