I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
