i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I wish i was in the wii world.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
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