great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
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