We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
