I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
only you would photoshop your dick
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
