I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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