Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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