Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
