So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
